you start missing everybody

I’m not sure what I’m doing or what I’m feeling that makes me feel as if life...

Thu, 02 May 2013 22:09:00 +1000

I’m not sure what I’m doing or what I’m feeling that makes me feel as if life should be different to what it is.

But I can’t let this affect me. It’s a good thing I have going on, isn’t it?

Maybe you meant it in jest, but I was irritated when you made a comment saying I wasn’t...

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 22:33:25 +1000

Maybe you meant it in jest, but I was irritated when you made a comment saying I wasn’t Chinese.

But I am proud of myself for correcting you and saying that I am.

Don’t you ever—for a second—get to thinking...

Wed, 10 Apr 2013 22:07:59 +1000

Don’t you ever—for a second—get to thinking that you’re irreplaceable.

"8. Accepting that you cannot party in the way you used to, and that you are going to have to start..."

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 23:17:13 +1000

“8. Accepting that you cannot party in the way you used to, and that you are going to have to start turning down some nights which people will tease you about because your sleep has become your most precious commodity.”

- ‘24 Painful Things You Must Do To Grow Up’, Thought Catalog

"When you hear something and then repeat it internally, you’re accepting it. Worse still, when you..."

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 22:02:00 +1000

“When you hear something and then repeat it internally, you’re accepting it. Worse still, when you hear something and silently sit and don’t refute it, you are accepting it.”

- ‘On Being Good Enough’, Thought Catalog

"6. Do I punish myself enough? Do I admit when I’m wrong? Do I work enough every day to make myself a..."

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 22:00:00 +1000

“6. Do I punish myself enough? Do I admit when I’m wrong? Do I work enough every day to make myself a better person, a better friend, a better worker? Do I devolve into escapism too much to stop the force inside of me that wants to be better? What is better? Do I even hold myself to the right standards? Who do I know that has done everything right? Can I be that person? Did that person beat their laziness into a submission like I try to? Is all this mental work worth it? Will it represent itself in physical work? Tangible improvements to my daily life? Why am I so concerned with my appearance? Is everyone else? Am I too shady? Too spazzy? Too paranoid?”

- ‘6 Things You Worry About Too Much’, Thought Catalog

Fucking leave me alone, you nosy bastard.

Thu, 04 Apr 2013 00:57:15 +1100

Fucking leave me alone, you nosy bastard.

White people love my hair

Thu, 21 Mar 2013 21:23:08 +1100

Some guy came up to me today in Glebe and asked me about my hair. I wish I had been more awake at the time, because, damn it, I did not realise that he was cute until I was walking away!

I definitely could’ve been more receptive. He wasn’t being an arrogant ass at all; he was being nice, actually. Friendly. And there I was, being a half-asleep total grump. I could’ve even asked the guy to coffee (I still had an hour to go before my class).

Anyway, fast forward about two hours. After my linguistics class, this girl came up to me to tell me how awesome she thought my hair was. ~~I might now have a friend in my linguistics class, yayerz!~~

I am not sure why my haphazardous bedhair gets [white] people going. (I mean, I did style it, but I slept in the car while my mom drove, and it always ends up reverting to bedhair after I sleep.) But I suppose it somewhat invites some company I would like to keep.

Oh, you have a written French assignment due tomorrow? Why not...

Mon, 18 Mar 2013 19:16:26 +1100

Oh, you have a written French assignment due tomorrow? Why not play some Spanish reggaeton music to confuse you as you do it.

(I have only been waiting for this for a year)

Tue, 05 Mar 2013 21:35:50 +1100

I have finally found a French tutor and class that is enjoyable!

No. No, you don’t get to do this to yourself. You do not get to make yourself feel...

Thu, 28 Feb 2013 21:48:12 +1100

No. No, you don’t get to do this to yourself. You do not get to make yourself feel powerless—because you are not.

And you don’t get to let Sydney make you feel this way either.

An almost aloha

Tue, 26 Feb 2013 22:49:34 +1100

In less than 32 hours, I’ll be on a plane back to Sydney.

Although my life will probably be the best it’s ever been when I get back, I’m simply not ready to return yet.

I actually feel like I belong here more than my own country of birth, despite the fact that I’ve barely seen any people with hair like mine—let alone many natives! (There is a buttload of tourists here.) There are a lot of different-looking people, however.

But I really, really love that. Belonging, I mean. I feel less like a freakshow Asian when I walk down the street.

If I was to go for a nice Hawaiian lad, it’d probably be...

Thu, 21 Feb 2013 22:45:05 +1100

If I was to go for a nice Hawaiian lad, it’d probably be some guy that looks like this (I love ‘em athletic).

I think I’ve come to realise that I don’t need to see pretty places of the world just...

Sun, 17 Feb 2013 20:16:18 +1100

I think I’ve come to realise that I don’t need to see pretty places of the world just now—I need to work on my daily life.

I want to work on my daily life.

But I am here on this tropical island with some people I love, so I will just shut up and enjoy it for now.

These are the best chips I’ve ever had in my life.

Sun, 17 Feb 2013 16:10:36 +1100

These are the best chips I’ve ever had in my life.

the-absolute-funniest-posts: oldblueeyes: CS Lewis: To love at...

Sat, 16 Feb 2013 08:01:32 +1100

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

oldblueeyes:

CS Lewis: To love at all (x)

My lovely followers, please follow this blog immediately!

When did me and my stuffed up life become "alpha" material?

Fri, 15 Feb 2013 18:22:40 +1100

I’m just really confused, you see. My life is far (very far) from put together—and I’m far (quite far) from being anything conventionally pretty. (Though, don’t think I’ve got low esteem because, simply, I just think I’m some WEIRD kind of pretty.)

Today, I walked down a street in Kailua-Kona. I was about to pass these adolescents when I heard one of them mutter too loudly to their guy friend, “whoa, hot girl passing.” I was the only person walking by.

I’ve asked my friends and cousins just what the hell is appealing about me just by appearance; I don’t understand what this “aura” is that I have about me.

I pretty much thought my normal expression was “bitch face”. You know, some highly unattractive stuff.

So what the hell is going on? What makes me some “alpha woman”, as my friends put it?

I'm in Hawaii, bitch!

Thu, 14 Feb 2013 12:04:57 +1100

Sheesh. You want to have all your cakes and eat them too, don’t you?

Wed, 13 Feb 2013 08:13:07 +1100

Sheesh. You want to have all your cakes and eat them too, don’t you?

Today I am 23. I suppose I didn’t get what I wished for...

Tue, 12 Feb 2013 00:47:00 +1100

Today I am 23.

I suppose I didn’t get what I wished for when I was 22, even though I could’ve two days ago. But it maybe doesn’t matter because something tells me I’ll get it soon enough.

I hope it’s with you. I hope—so, so much—that it’s real.